my speciality is Randomness

2011-02-21T16:42:00.000+08:00

2011-02-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

happy birthday dad!

大の工程

2011-02-17T17:34:00.003+08:00

i lost my cherry earring in the club

so the sweet bf took it upon himself to make me one

kitty kitty

2011-02-17T17:26:00.001+08:00

kitty on the volcanic tops of Japan

kitty basking in park

artsy kitty at Haji Lane

kitty under my block

2011-02-17T17:21:00.001+08:00

why so extreme?

i would much prefer doing up posters of cats anytime.

some doodling for the day

2011-02-17T17:15:00.001+08:00

2011-01-28T16:17:00.003+08:00

2011-01-07T11:56:00.001+08:00

how can the toilets at my office be SO cobwebby?

don't people need to pee here?

art

2011-01-04T15:55:00.006+08:00

art nowadays is so overrated. this piece looks like the result of leaving a black marker and correction fluid with a five year old with a fetish for squares.

inspired, i set out to create my own wall murals.

my version of a crocky high on pot:

his favourite stoned buddy:

and this is what happens when they get together:

2011-01-04T15:53:00.001+08:00

a colourful meal never hurt anyone

the girl who stares at goats

2011-01-04T15:51:00.004+08:00

i felt like the Girl Who Stares at Goats when taking this pic

2011-01-04T15:48:00.002+08:00

pray tell me, how is a tin bird representative of Singapore?

i would've thought a madame tussauds figure of Phua Chu Kang might have been better. Or maybe one of Jack Neo soliciting another of his young girls.

the legendary Darkie toothpaste!

2011-01-04T15:46:00.001+08:00

Darlie in its early racist years. what a rare find!

hardcore gamer

2011-01-04T15:44:00.001+08:00

the chap was using his chair side as a mousepad

China, you are not alone

2011-01-04T15:31:00.003+08:00

i wonder who would win in the battle to the funniest english bloopers, china or vietnam?

Other than seeing a restaurant sign saying No Pay, No Delicious, a Legion DVD i bought (did i just post proof of my own crime?) has this most amusing review at the back, likely ripped off the net by some unsuspecting dude who (very unfortunately) picked of all internet reviews, the lousiest one possible.

for the curious, i didn't watch this movie after reading the review.

the review did serve its purpose after all, saving me from a bad show and saving 2 hours of my life.

wearit nüe

2011-01-04T14:56:00.003+08:00

QUESTION: what does a bo-liao girl do with free time on her hands?

ANSWER: she takes quirky pictures and starts another blog!

wearit nüe

in my wearit nüe (a designerish, act-all-cool version of wear it new) pet project, i wear my (and anyone else's, if they'll let me) clothes and stuff in a new way. in short, breathe life into pieces that you might have otherwise chucked away, all forgotten and yellowed in a cracked old corner.

and one day, when i am famous, i shall start another spinoff blog brand. here, i will sell new self-designed clothes at exorbitant designerish prices and use the $ to buy other people's designerish shit.

and this, my friends, is my grand masterplan to retire before the age of 40.

Remember, you read it here first.

2010-12-15T18:30:00.002+08:00

I don't understand why Boon Keng always seems to have this problem with water. Last year it was a bout of uncontrolled rain in front of the fruit stall. And now, a burst water pipe, ironically next to the fire hose reel.

2010-12-15T14:22:00.003+08:00

Apparently the ghost craze extends past Halloween. Just check out this shop somewhere near Teo Heng KTV. I think the ghastly screamings of out-of-tune KTV goers prompted some guy to start a Ghostbuster shop.

And it was open at 2a.m. Not surprising, since his customers probably need his services at unearthly times.

Check out his comprehensive marketing in-store. Complete with LCD screen and article reports on his one-of-a-kind service (probably all from LianHeWanBao).

guide to cutting queue during halloween at zouk

2010-11-30T20:55:00.006+08:00

Anyone who's been to zouk during halloween knows just how crazy the queue is. If you want to escape the ghastly fate (pun unintended) of standing for hours outside till you shed real tears of blood, follow this tried-and-tested fail-proof guide by me and the bf:

Male Cut-Queue Stunt

1. If you are a guy, go in an outrageous costume. The club will costume-spot you and get you in sans queue and entry fee. Be creative- a stained pad, a hamster in superman suit, or.. a headless horseman. My bf* actually made this headless horseman costume from scrap materials you would have at your own home.

Bloody Neck: Food container leftover from his dabao laksa (please wash before using- you don't want to smell like laksa the entire night- unless u are going as a bowl of it).

Armour: Thick cardboard, black and silver spray paint.

Black Mesh: To hide your face so you can still see- you don't want to keep bumping into the undead the entire night, considering how a 369 teen slasher might just be hiding in the midst. If he gets pissed off and slashes you, the crowd would clap on and think it to be a club gimmick. "Wow, the gush of blood looks real! Amazing!" The commotion might win you Best Costume, but you won't get to enjoy the prize.

Medieval-looking belt: Left behind from his ah-beng days.

The costume worked pretty well- too well, in fact. The happy man confessed delightfully that women in the club were literally shoving their assets into his headless face in a bid to get that Perfect Shot for Facebook Exhibitionism.

Considering his usual height and looks, this was probably the most boobs he was coming in such close contact with for his entire life, so I grit my teeth and calmly played the role of PR manager.

"Oh my god! A headless horseman!"

"I gotta get this one..."

"How does he see?"

Me: He has a mesh over here *gestures* and his head is actually here.

"That's so cool!!"

Me: Yea, he made it himself.

"Gosh.. how long did it take him? This is amazing!"

Me: 6 nights after work.

"Could you help us take a pic? Thanks!"

We forgot our own camera, so what we did the entire night was taking pictures for others' cameras- him being the taken and me being their stand-in taker.

NOTE: Men, if you never were popular with the ladies but want to be, hide your face in some costume. My bf was never such hot property until he covered himself entirely. Off my mind I can think of another costume idea that fits the bill- ostrich with head in sand.

Female Cut-Queue Stunt

2. If you are a girl, go in your lingerie!

That's what I did, and not only did I get in for free, I even got approached for Zouk membership! The most coveted club membership that money-cannot-buy (you want to make anything priceless, just don't give it a price la.)

NOTE: this may not go down as well if you happen to weigh over 99kg. Also, I must say that I was shivering like mad when the club started blasting that cold mist thingy from time to time. I felt like a naked bunny in a nitrogen freezing experiment. If you are prone to catching colds, i recommend you stick to queuing outside.

That's it for now folks. Try my advice during Halloween 2011, and let me know how it goes.

* Tidbit of the day: the bf featured in this post is not the same one featured in previous posts, for you curious cats out there.

2010-03-16T18:04:00.002+08:00

well, i made it! Universal Studios hasn't killed anyone... yet.

Random Thought of the Day:
Sitting on the fence never hurt anyone except your own ass.

2010-03-15T01:01:00.001+08:00

Am going to Universal Studios tmr morning, as one of those guinea pigs to test for faulty rides i presume.

If i don't update this blog soon after, you can assume that the rides WERE indeed faulty.

2010-03-11T15:00:00.005+08:00

Life is unfair!

Why is it that bunnies can look so cute, even when they are cleaning their ears..

but us humans look like crap!

2010-01-02T00:49:00.001+08:00

I just changed my tongue stud to welcome the new year.

As they say, A New Stud for a New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone.

a day in the life of how english suffered

2009-11-23T22:39:00.008+08:00

excuse me for taking a zillion years to blog about my guangzhou company trip..
i went there for 2 months.. and i felt my english deproving by the minute.

not hard to see why...

On a typical sunny morning in guangzhou, I took the train. & saw this poster.

1. 'no hullabaloo allowed'.
ok, i checked this word out- it does exist: noun that means 'fuss' or 'uproar'. fine i'll let this one pass- there are loads more anyway.

2. yo yo, check tis out. 'no graffiti or scratchitti allowed', hear me?

3. 'when the door opens or closes, please take your time'.
ahh, does that explain why i keep getting 'kiap' by the closing door?

after getting off the train, i went to eat.

never mind that the entire menu translation was all wrong, but i think 'cruelclearwate' crossed the line for me. I mean, the water's innocent man- the whole of Singapore is trying to save it.

i needed some amusement outside of translation jokes, so i went to the amusement park.
rapidest fly? what the hell is that? i don't know but i sure was amused. no wonder it's called an amusement park.

with play comes thirst, so i hopped over to the nearest supermarket for some drinks.
i am seriously impressed man. the chinese can really invent stuff.

最大的荣幸 = greatful

how cool is that?
<最大> great + <荣幸> grateful = 〈最大的荣幸〉greatful (2 functions in 1 word!)

thanks guys, for revisiting my blog again, i'm truly greatful.

10 years? 20 years?

2009-11-18T10:50:00.002+08:00

It's been too long since I blogged...

I think I should start again! Shall post up the cute panda pics, or what's remaining (boyfriend lost my camera hp on the last night zzz) of what I took in GuangZhou..

Anyway I am very proud of myself cause I thought of a little quotable quote of my very own...

"Friendships and relationships are the buoys that keep you afloat in life. -Gu, 2009"

Ta-dah! Playing on the SHIP behind friendship and relationship..get it??

I shall not google for it lest I find out that others have been already using it for 10 years. I shall live in my happy oblivion for now.

2009-04-19T12:28:00.006+08:00

I just had the most disturbing dream, ever.

I was attending a school concert (considering that I hate concerts generally, this in itself is already a nightmare).

I overheard a woman behind me saying that her tummy really hurt, to her friend.

Being the kind soul I was (in dreams only), I dug my bag for my Axe oil (which I don't own in real life) to pass it to her.

I turned and asked the friend of Miss Painful Tummy, "Is your friend's tummy hurting?" before extending my Axe oil to her.

She (friend of Miss Painful Tummy) took it and dropped it into her bag before my very eyes. "I have been looking for this! Just what I need.."

Shocked, I tried to explain to her that the oil was for her friend, not her, but to no avail. She was simply shamelessly 'kop'ing the oil for her own usage, when her friend was doubling over in pain!

I was so pissed, I argued with her for the longest time and even shouted at her loudly while the concert was still going on. As in dreams, no one came to stop me, which I was wondering why then (not realising it was a dream).

I even threatened to call the police and was so furious I stormed out to complain to somebody.

At the corridor, I found a student council member whom I related the incident to, She went back with me to the concert hall, and horror of horrors, her seat was vacant. The shameless woman had absconded, Axe oil and all.

The kind student council led me to the only route she knew to leave the hall, and indeed, at the staircase landing, we found Mrs. Shameless (too old to be called a Miss).

I grabbed her by her arms and asked an Ah Beng (who was loitering around staircase landings- where they're usually found anyway) to search her bag.

He used a razor and slit her bag open, Ah Beng-style (couldn't he tell that using the clutch was easier?!)

The Axe Oil was nowhere to be found.

The audacity of it all! I was hopping mad by now.

The student council informed me that she had already called for the police.

All this while, I was holding both the hands of Mrs. Shameless, but somehow I kept feeling someone touching my waist from her position. Being too engrossed and angry at the mystery of Missing Axe Oil, I did not take much notice then.

Until it suddenly hit me that humans should only have 2 arms.

Something was clearly amiss. I let go of my grip on Mrs. Shameless, and shouted to the rest that she had 3 arms.

No one seemed to care. Both the Ah Beng and Nice Student Councilor were lifelessly limp, as though Mrs Shameless was a demon who had sucked the life out of them.

I panicked and ran out, where I saw 2 tall, well-built black policemen (as in Hollywood movies police) coming towards me. I ran towards them and led them to the scene.

Until I realised that Shameless Demon was at a phone booth nearby, dialling away while Ah Beng and Nice-now-lifeless Student Councilor was queuing in a line behind her. She had hynotised them! (In dreams, you Just Know. Stop asking me how I knew!)

I warned the police that she had probably hynotised the rest, and ran off. It was just not worth it for a $1.70 Axe Oil.

And you know why I had this terrifying and absolutely ridiculous dream?! It's all because yesterday at the foodcourt, this evil woman snatched the seat I had been waiting for for the longest time!

There was this Filipino couple who had finished their food and was flirting happily with each other. I felt kinda bad waiting for their seat but they were the only ones who had finished and were still hogging the scarce seats.

When they noticed me, they kindly offered their seats to me and even smiled at me.

As they were smiling, this woman came up and plonked her bag onto the seat, even before they had stood up!

I was fuming mad. I had made this happy in-the-mood-for-flirting duo cut short their flirting time, and this other woman just comes and snatches away my seat right before their very flirting?!

Just as I was going to give her a piece of my mind, her young child and husband came over. Damn it!! I couldn't even scold her without feeling bad cause she had a family! (which means it's harder for her to find an empty table, while I could simply share one with others, since there were only two of us).

I stood there (45 centimetres from her) fuming mad for minutes but was unable to release my anger, while she acted like nothing happened.

I figured that all this anger wasn't good for me and walked away to share seats with others.

Apparently, the unreleased anger inside me manifested itself into an absolute nightmare (literally)- that woke me up from my sleep feeling terrified.

In case you were wondering, no, Shameless Demon did not look like 'kop'-seat Woman, but you see the similarities, don't you? One 'kop'ed my seat, another 'kop'ed my Axe Oil.

The moral of the story is this: Never get mad at seat-'kop'ers, and never buy Axe Oil.

2009-04-06T23:52:00.000+08:00

Long Live Loverpool!!

2009-04-06T23:50:00.001+08:00

this is the crazy crowd you get when Daniel Wu and Jackie Chan comes to town

2009-04-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

the rain was right in front of the fruit stall. it was hilarious

2009-03-14T19:24:00.005+08:00

snowflake in a cheery getup

her holding up a calci-bone for easy chewing. almost looks like she's praying with joss sticks

so cute!!

2009-03-14T19:21:00.001+08:00

ever seen a mushroom bigger than a banana?

2009-03-14T19:17:00.000+08:00

aren't they cute?

2009-03-03T01:42:00.001+08:00

HOW TRUE!
the internet is really a great place for random entertainment, next to porn.

No one can ever know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married in the U.S. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

2009-03-03T01:11:00.002+08:00

it's amazing.

i bought these 'close up' jelly lens from action city and fixed it to my phone camera.. the next thing i knew, any random picture i took actually looked artistic!

see! who cares what this actually was. the lens probably makes toilet paper look good!

there are plenty variations available, like star burst or some crap..many more la.. check it out yourself.

2009-03-03T01:08:00.000+08:00

dog and raven

2009-03-03T00:57:00.004+08:00

now you can feel sexy and girly, even when you're having your period!

introducing the new moxie tampons...

comes in two lovely retro tins, 3 variations/colours to choose from.

each individual tampon comes wrapped in a lovely ribbon plastic cover, complete with pink string!

the tin is a a little hard to open and close, though. Check out more at their website http://www.moxie.com.au/aus/

yes, women really do part with money too easily. but hey, we were born to spend more than males, ok? what with bras and pads/tampons... we DON'T have a choice. so stop complaining and get back to your monster killing/porn watching

2009-03-03T00:42:00.003+08:00

the cutest bean in the world.. now selling at jollibean!

the nice thing is that all proceeds go to charity, so you get a nice healthy dosage of cuteness, all in the name of helping other children to smile!

only problem is, the bean looks so cute i kinda feel guilty about eating beans now

bathing takes a new turn

2009-02-07T19:29:00.005+08:00

2009-02-03T00:05:00.001+08:00

what i stare at in office all day.
a trio of my favourite rats, doing my favourite things.

2009-02-02T23:58:00.001+08:00

it definitely sounds better than it tastes. Much, much better

2009-01-25T20:07:00.005+08:00

acrylic painting i did of my favourite Ponyo scene! =)

2009-01-25T19:46:00.001+08:00

2009-01-15T01:57:00.000+08:00

blueberry potato chips... i'll die contented!

2008-12-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

2008-12-20T00:11:00.000+08:00

the things my mom buys... seriously!

2008-12-20T00:05:00.001+08:00

love this story.

click on it to read if you're interested!

did you know sperm could get high?

2008-12-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

Dr Burkman said: "The sperm from marijuana smokers were moving too fast too early.

"The timing was all wrong. These sperm will experience burnout before they reach the egg and would not be capable of fertilisation."

see more at http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s966338.htm
Stoned sperm too speedy to fertilise

2008-12-14T12:06:00.004+08:00

chanced upon this place around haji lane, called trippies cafe, at 42 Bussorah Street.

it was literally a trip down memory lane... they sold all the toys you played with as a child... like the harmonica in that animal paper packaging..and many many more!

and while you're there, don't forget to check out the Children Little Museum on second floor for a reasonable $2 fee.

From left: fridge, jackpot machine, black and white tv- all in working condition!

should've kept my old toys and sold it to 'em..

anyway, check out this gigantic robot outside their shop. the head moves from left to right, has blinking lights for eyes, and comes complete with meters and cogs that actually run!

the best part? it's made from scratch by the 2 founders:

it's a smoke robot, and they're gonna make smoke come out from the robot's mouth, soon.
guess environmental issues were never really a concern in the 60s.

p/s: they're working on another robot that walks!

2008-12-14T11:59:00.002+08:00

for ah bengs with an unusual orientation,
and just ran the full standard-chartered marathon

2008-12-14T11:53:00.001+08:00

of pretty pretty drinks
(that taste good, too.)

2008-12-14T11:45:00.006+08:00

to be read as an online banner with 4 frames

what do you make out of this banner ad? post your understanding of it as a comment!

bed bug

2008-12-14T11:25:00.000+08:00

2008-12-01T22:34:00.001+08:00

i was just thinking...

ai ya, why my parents never name me Ru.

then I can be GuRu.

nice, right?

2008-11-20T02:36:00.005+08:00

For a Boy

If I were a kid again, and asked to choose a toy
Without doubt it would be this boy
With cuteness on par with Ikea Mouse
I would love to bring him to my house

The old things that you told me to throw?
Through that, taught me to let go
Really, I don't know how to say thank you
"Us too!" scream those in the Karang Guni field

He says he enjoys sugar rolls
For that to his tummy will add folds
But really, I don't think I'll mind
Where else a more comfortable pillow find?

Oh no! Your handphone! I'm stressed! you stutter
In some sick manner your anxiety makes my heart go aflutter
That sometimes lost expression on your face...
For you my heart will make more space

He fights hard the Sleeping Bug every night
His lips on the phone, but they're shut tight
No wonder, that explains all that mumbling
And in the day- due to lack of sleep, the fumbling

You know why 'love' doesn't part my lips?
Because like in restaurants, they're the tips
Once given out, waiter's no longer attentive
Perhaps once mentioned
someone'll leave

2008-11-19T18:38:00.001+08:00

Whoever Franklin Jones is, I like him already.

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”

- Franklin P. Jones (1887-1929)

2008-11-19T02:37:00.002+08:00

marketing has to be like, the most amazing thing, ever.

saw this gigantic vase selling in ikea for a few bucks.

and this is what you can do to up its value in a parenting magazine:

Exclusively imported from Italy is this exquisite and rare find, specially designed for your child's potty training. Ingenious see-through design ensures you know exactly when your child is done and ready to go. No more waiting and having to read your child's impatient glances. Made with the purest in glass technology, the soft rounded edges cushion your precious so he/she is free from the discomfort that comes with conventional potty chairs. Definitely worth every penny of the $57.

Because only the finest specimens should be allowed to touch your child's butt. Holds true even after she's all grown up, eh?

2008-11-19T01:52:00.003+08:00

You just know you gotta get a job fast when a taxi driver has a namecard and you don't. And did I mention his sexy email?

2008-11-09T21:14:00.002+08:00

the only nice thing that came (pun intended) out of Madonna's mouth

- When I get down on my knees, it is not to pray -

everyone should go to a halloween party

2008-11-02T16:14:00.010+08:00

to see a carrot hug a gingerbread man

to feel how it's like to be eaten alive.. i mean.. dead.

to get to know Brave Toilet Auntie who is unfazed by the horrors before her

to find new ways to a man's heart

see, it worked!

and of course, to see prominent, important men from different eras gathered together

2008-10-22T03:16:00.002+08:00

life is too short to engage in pointless debates that will lead nowhere.
it's best to just avoid them in the first place.

"which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

"i'm not sure, but they both taste equally good".

2008-10-18T16:15:00.005+08:00

apparently there IS a demand for crappy food.

want to be healthy but not quite there yet?

the fish actually wriggles, if that helps.

have you ever...

2008-10-18T16:05:00.002+08:00

bought a pair of pretty shoes knowing they ain't going to be comfy, hoping that somehow you will love them enough to wear them until they become comfy, and knowing that you actually won't, buy them anyway?

while standing in the MRT carriage, leaned over slightly right before it starts moving to counter the inertia, only to realise the train hasn't started moving yet?

wished that you could press CTRL F when you couldn't find something in your messy room, or CTRL Z when you did something you wish you didn't do?

2008-09-18T16:07:00.005+08:00

more stuffs done whilst pondering upon the alienating features of the naked ape.

cup and saucer

alien

finger-ing a lady

2008-09-18T16:03:00.003+08:00

some old stuffs done with coloured pencils

more bouts of randomness

2008-09-18T14:20:00.013+08:00

party in the train

crackling candy that does NOT crackle. do NOT purchase.
but as you can see, it was too late for me.

my dream umbrella. costing a hundred bucks

lovely elephant artwork found in random toilet cubicle.

even more lovely when inverted.

forget about growing plants or sea monkeys. why not grow a ear? on a naked rat. show and tell has never been this much fun.

the biggest regret of my shopping life. i love this dress, went back 3 times on separate occasions just for it, and didn't get it though it was like freaking cheap. since then i have not been able to sleep well at night.

2008-09-18T14:20:00.004+08:00

you just gotta love club toilets

mystery of the long cut

2008-09-17T22:16:00.004+08:00

i have no idea how i got this long cut running down my thigh. in fact, i only noticed it when it hurt while in the shower.

but i guess the messy floor of the background kinda distracts from the mystery of it all.

yes, my room is officially messier than ever. and even as i type, things are piling up from me spending more time at home, now that i am slacking my life away.

i knew it was bad when my hp fell a couple times and was cushioned perfectly by my floor. no sound, no nothing.

i'm torn between packing up or letting things stay as they are. afterall, not having to worry about your hp falling to the ground IS a good thing.

crowds disorientate me

2008-09-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

2008-09-17T21:58:00.004+08:00

an attempt by my gal pal to give me a makeover made me convinced that i was perfect for the role of those train ghosts that sit opposite the protagonist when they look up.

my mom was an army cook

2008-09-17T16:57:00.008+08:00

see, i was just talking about how sadistic humans were. how we love eating cute things.

irresistable right...

anyway, i'm pretty darn sure my mom was an army cook in her past life.
she was cooking bee hoon for two people- me and her.

and this is how much she cooked:

it's literally a pile. bee hoon, anyone?

2008-09-06T23:50:00.010+08:00

i have decided that i like baron's strong brew. they sure have a sense of humour.

have you ever seen a knight so sian, he takes to hugging his shield like a pillow?

i couldn't resist. i just had to have a pic taken with his less sian counterpart.

nothing like a hat to cheer up gloomy chums

but for me instant noodles is all it takes. especially if it's hello kitty.

yummy!

anyway, on an unrelated note (you should expect that having seen the blog title), i find a particular phenomenon very disturbing.

mascots of food products are often the food themselves.

remember this Calbee potato chips tv ad? where the potato chips happily barbeque themselves over a pit? while some others grin as they get sliced up at the barber's. remember remember?

and another example: Chicky the KFC kids mascot

'welcome to eat me', he beckons.

disturbing a not, you tell me?

2008-08-21T22:57:00.006+08:00

try making a guess where this place is:

the outside-

the inside- overseeing other buildings

need more clues?

yes, these are sinks.. you're getting close.

there's even a humongous fish tank in there.

and in every cubicle, a romantic tealight lights the way as you pee.

2008-08-21T22:41:00.005+08:00

the signboard says Bulldog House.

and lo and behold. when i looked in there were indeed 2 bulldogs residing there.

this row of shops are really interesting. see the interior of this italian restaurant?

a closer look reveals that the clothes are made of clay!

interesting, ain't it? and of course, it helps that the owner is one cute guy too.

2008-08-21T22:34:00.003+08:00

i was dying of thirst so i was really relieved to see a 7-11.

until i saw the notice on the door.

7-11s nowadays are getting redundant.

2008-08-21T22:22:00.000+08:00

at times i wonder how i manage to type.

the things people come up with

2008-08-08T02:15:00.008+08:00

you know what this contains?

yea marshmallows.
can't you tell?

the tiniest working dictionary ever, with an accompanying baby magnifying glass.

i swear to god it's the cutest thing. oh, and speaking of god, they have a bible version, apparently.

2008-08-08T02:11:00.002+08:00

it's 7th month, and people are planting trees like this.

a bit wrong right...

2008-08-08T01:50:00.003+08:00

would you want your face on M&Ms?

then do it.
you only live once.
http://www.mymms.com/customprint_faces/custom_selector.asp?optionchoice=LM

2008-08-08T01:33:00.005+08:00

have you ever sang in the shower?

or more importantly, have you ever sang in the shower and have someone take a picture of you?

he was just so into it that i had to take another shot.

see, doesn't he just look like a star?

i would have wanted to mosaic his face except i don't know how to.

sorry dude.

2008-07-20T12:29:00.011+08:00

THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE..

pretty colours of my dinner

and believe me or not, it's vegetarian

an overly friendly boy who peddled around me and couldn't stop waving even as the lift doors closed on him

a trio of spastic mascots

with people clamouring to get a dose of silliness

a retarded family shot

tasty tidbits dressed in japanese garb

pretty and meaningless pursuits

THING THAT MADE ME FROWN.

an attempt to rescue the mouse from the trap gave me nothing but lateness in returning to office, incurred cab fare and fingers so sticky i had to buy thinner to rid of the glue.

i think my attempt gave the mouse nothing but broken bones and a faster trip to mouse heaven.

never again.

2008-07-16T11:53:00.001+08:00

LiFe cAn Be a bEd oF rOsEs OnLy iF yOu sToP tO sMeLL tHeM

2008-07-05T11:52:00.000+08:00

2008-06-12T19:58:00.003+08:00

i was flipping through a magazine when i saw this:

a solar powered bra. what can get more redundant than this? ok i admit i may not exactly be the best person to say this but there's a reason why underwear is called underwear. To use the solar feature you have to expose your bra to the sun.

2008-06-11T11:27:00.011+08:00

bored at work, i took to entertaining myself with the cutest hand puppet.

see no evil

hear no evil

speak no evil

evil koala at work

evil koala on work

i'm everywhere.

i don't like the way you're handling me, miss.

so much so it's giving me a headache.

come closer..lemme tell you something...

gotcha!

hey it's not easy to do this ok... you try making up a story while feeling stressed at being caught out at work.

2008-06-11T10:20:00.006+08:00

one morning i woke and found my hand like this:

having decided to ignore it, by next morning it had swollen to:

under the advice of my colleagues, i decided to visit the doctor, and that was when i stumbled upon this fish (while waiting for the doc's to open):

top view:

doesn't it look like the offspring of an arowana and a butterfly?

and check it out. from the front view it almost looks like a barn owl with open wings.

i happily hopped back to the office with my new buy, $45 poorer from the doctor's "i don't know what's wrong too" and the desire to bring the illegitimate child home.

"how's your hand, now? and why is it like that anyway?" my colleague asks.

"it's fine, i guess. i could have accidentally poured some alcohol on my hand when i was drinking and din wash it off immediately. i think i could be allergic to alcohol when applied topically."

"ooh...' she coos. "wow, imagine, if alcohol does that to your skin, what's going on inside when you drink it?"

2008-06-11T10:15:00.001+08:00

like we need to be reminded of where 15% of our drinking water come from

2008-06-02T20:03:00.002+08:00

it's strange how i never noticed such nice sights when they're just a mere five minutes away from my place.

2008-06-02T19:58:00.006+08:00

despite the heat wave that hit singapore lately, trishaw uncles are getting cooler and cooler.

mai siao siao, harley davidson ok... got fiery metallic skull in front somemore.

there was even a batman one but it whizzed past me so fast, i didn't even have time to touch my camera.

2008-05-30T01:31:00.009+08:00

kampong glam is full of little hidden treasures. i love it!!

from my point of view. and yes, you can stand under my umbrella.

seems like i'm not the only one loving it.

even barbie gets more fun here.

look, even measles seem cheery around here.

everyone should check it out someday.

let the magic begin.

2008-05-30T01:29:00.001+08:00

igallop and ipod is out. let's welcome the latest shopping mall to hit town.

iOn!!!

are you on?

2008-05-30T01:08:00.005+08:00

people say you learn new things and understand yourself better on overseas trips.

i think so too.

i learnt that i should not take bumper car rides 5 consecutive times in a row.

self realisation also hit me that i can really look like a ghost at times. i'm past denial now.

2008-05-20T02:14:00.003+08:00

cats make such interesting subjects

"boy, i'm afraid i can't sell you the turnip"

2008-05-20T01:45:00.000+08:00

in singapore, u need to be of legal age for everything.

2008-05-20T01:41:00.006+08:00

this is the name of a real shop.

i can so imagine the robber saying "they asked for it".

another shop.

apparently its email is simidaiji@piekia.sg

2008-05-20T01:02:00.003+08:00

i crossed paths with a couple mynahs lately.

i was at a friend's house chatting with her when a bird trotted into her room.

as i stare at the mynah with mouth agape, i hear my friend say, careful, he might bite your foot if it gets too close.

it used to be have fleas, but not anymore, she helpfully adds.

here he is. *shudders*

an angry mynah as a pet?
seriously, what is the world coming to, man...

and yep, speaking of mynahs, can you spot the albino mynah?

i think it survived till today coz it camouflages perfectly as a piece of litter.

it's just... wrong

2008-04-30T10:31:00.009+08:00

me, miss naughty*, her little sister, and naan met up to be cheapo and claim free ice cream (twice). of course, we were still less cheapo than some others in the queue, who were happily licking away at their newly claimed ice creams while queuing for another. it's hard to beat singaporeans in cheapo-ness la. at least we had the decency to walk around a bit as buffer time in between ice creams to ensure the servers would have rotated shifts and forgotten us.

anyway, things just got more wrong from here. little sister wanted to go to toys 'r' us. all i can say is, other than cheapo, ben and jerry's ice cream makes people bo liao as well.

we saw rows of this at the entrance.

someone pointed out that this veggie one was particularly cheap and cute.

the free ice creams had made us all high.

we put it a coin and got this:

an innocent looking radish, you say?

what about this then?

and this?

all together, now.

little sister eagerly pointed out that the sweet potato even had holes in erm. all the right places.

what is wrong with the japanese?!

how can they ever think of corrupting young children by making cute innocent harmless veggies into sexual beings with unspeakable anatomical parts?!

everything that happened yesterday is just so... wrong.

* miss naughty is so named for many reasons, one of which includes how she brought along her little sister to vivocity from 5p.m. to late at night before announcing matter-of-factly that she needs to go home soon cause little sis has an exam the next morning. when confronted with her reckless behaviour, she proclaims happily that she "used to shop the day before her exams in the past too!" if this isn't naughty, i don't know what is.

p/s: please feel free to approach me to ask what other naughty stuffs she has done.

p/s to miss naughty: please feel free to bribe me to avoid the above from happening.

2008-04-30T10:25:00.003+08:00

eh hello, did i say you can take my picture?

mother knows best

2008-04-27T14:57:00.006+08:00

2008-04-27T14:49:00.003+08:00

why the makers of Hello Kitty would make her soft toy cuter than her is beyond my understanding.

2008-04-27T14:37:00.000+08:00

Cafe Cartel cakes are half price after 9. Being greedy and all, me and two friends sat in till after 9 and ordered three cakes: Bitter Chocolate Fudge Cake, Tiramisu, and Aunt Amy Chewy Chocolate Fudge Cake.

The cakes soon arrived.

"Here's your Tiramisu..."

"Bitter Chocolate..."

the waiter set the last cake down with a professional flourish.
"and your Auntie Amy",

I stared blankly at the cake before bursting into laughter right in front of him.

I usually try to only laugh behind people's backs but this was too much.

apparently Cafe Cartel is into localising their New York creations.

Auntie Amy! rocks on.

i think being mean doesn't pay off. later that night a friend sent me this. i didn't know to laugh or cry.