For a Boy


If I were a kid again, and asked to choose a toy
Without doubt it would be this boy
With cuteness on par with Ikea Mouse
I would love to bring him to my house

The old things that you told me to throw?
Through that, taught me to let go
Really, I don't know how to say thank you
"Us too!" scream those in the Karang Guni field

He says he enjoys sugar rolls
For that to his tummy will add folds
But really, I don't think I'll mind
Where else a more comfortable pillow find?

Oh no! Your handphone! I'm stressed! you stutter
In some sick manner your anxiety makes my heart go aflutter
That sometimes lost expression on your face...
For you my heart will make more space

He fights hard the Sleeping Bug every night
His lips on the phone, but they're shut tight
No wonder, that explains all that mumbling
And in the day- due to lack of sleep, the fumbling

You know why 'love' doesn't part my lips?
Because like in restaurants, they're the tips
Once given out, waiter's no longer attentive
Perhaps once mentioned
someone'll leave

Whoever Franklin Jones is, I like him already.

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”

- Franklin P. Jones (1887-1929)

marketing has to be like, the most amazing thing, ever.

saw this gigantic vase selling in ikea for a few bucks.


and this is what you can do to up its value in a parenting magazine:

Exclusively imported from Italy is this exquisite and rare find, specially designed for your child's potty training. Ingenious see-through design ensures you know exactly when your child is done and ready to go. No more waiting and having to read your child's impatient glances. Made with the purest in glass technology, the soft rounded edges cushion your precious so he/she is free from the discomfort that comes with conventional potty chairs. Definitely worth every penny of the $57.

Because only the finest specimens should be allowed to touch your child's butt. Holds true even after she's all grown up, eh?

You just know you gotta get a job fast when a taxi driver has a namecard and you don't. And did I mention his sexy email?

the only nice thing that came (pun intended) out of Madonna's mouth

- When I get down on my knees, it is not to pray -

everyone should go to a halloween party

to see a carrot hug a gingerbread man


to feel how it's like to be eaten alive.. i mean.. dead.


to get to know Brave Toilet Auntie who is unfazed by the horrors before her


to find new ways to a man's heart

see, it worked!


and of course, to see prominent, important men from different eras gathered together

life is too short to engage in pointless debates that will lead nowhere.
it's best to just avoid them in the first place.

"which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

"i'm not sure, but they both taste equally good".

apparently there IS a demand for crappy food.


want to be healthy but not quite there yet?


the fish actually wriggles, if that helps.

have you ever...

bought a pair of pretty shoes knowing they ain't going to be comfy, hoping that somehow you will love them enough to wear them until they become comfy, and knowing that you actually won't, buy them anyway?

while standing in the MRT carriage, leaned over slightly right before it starts moving to counter the inertia, only to realise the train hasn't started moving yet?

wished that you could press CTRL F when you couldn't find something in your messy room, or CTRL Z when you did something you wish you didn't do?

more stuffs done whilst pondering upon the alienating features of the naked ape.


cup and saucer


alien


finger-ing a lady

some old stuffs done with coloured pencils

more bouts of randomness

party in the train


crackling candy that does NOT crackle. do NOT purchase.
but as you can see, it was too late for me.


my dream umbrella. costing a hundred bucks


lovely elephant artwork found in random toilet cubicle.

even more lovely when inverted.


forget about growing plants or sea monkeys. why not grow a ear? on a naked rat. show and tell has never been this much fun.


the biggest regret of my shopping life. i love this dress, went back 3 times on separate occasions just for it, and didn't get it though it was like freaking cheap. since then i have not been able to sleep well at night.

you just gotta love club toilets

mystery of the long cut

i have no idea how i got this long cut running down my thigh. in fact, i only noticed it when it hurt while in the shower.


but i guess the messy floor of the background kinda distracts from the mystery of it all.

yes, my room is officially messier than ever. and even as i type, things are piling up from me spending more time at home, now that i am slacking my life away.


i knew it was bad when my hp fell a couple times and was cushioned perfectly by my floor. no sound, no nothing.

i'm torn between packing up or letting things stay as they are. afterall, not having to worry about your hp falling to the ground IS a good thing.

crowds disorientate me

an attempt by my gal pal to give me a makeover made me convinced that i was perfect for the role of those train ghosts that sit opposite the protagonist when they look up.

my mom was an army cook

see, i was just talking about how sadistic humans were. how we love eating cute things.


irresistable right...


anyway, i'm pretty darn sure my mom was an army cook in her past life.
she was cooking bee hoon for two people- me and her.

and this is how much she cooked:


it's literally a pile. bee hoon, anyone?

i have decided that i like baron's strong brew. they sure have a sense of humour.

have you ever seen a knight so sian, he takes to hugging his shield like a pillow?


i couldn't resist. i just had to have a pic taken with his less sian counterpart.


nothing like a hat to cheer up gloomy chums


but for me instant noodles is all it takes. especially if it's hello kitty.


yummy!

anyway, on an unrelated note (you should expect that having seen the blog title), i find a particular phenomenon very disturbing.

mascots of food products are often the food themselves.

remember this Calbee potato chips tv ad? where the potato chips happily barbeque themselves over a pit? while some others grin as they get sliced up at the barber's. remember remember?

and another example: Chicky the KFC kids mascot

'welcome to eat me', he beckons.

disturbing a not, you tell me?

try making a guess where this place is:

the outside-


the inside- overseeing other buildings


need more clues?

yes, these are sinks.. you're getting close.


there's even a humongous fish tank in there.

and in every cubicle, a romantic tealight lights the way as you pee.

the signboard says Bulldog House.

and lo and behold. when i looked in there were indeed 2 bulldogs residing there.


this row of shops are really interesting. see the interior of this italian restaurant?


a closer look reveals that the clothes are made of clay!

interesting, ain't it? and of course, it helps that the owner is one cute guy too.