Tuesday, November 30, 2010

guide to cutting queue during halloween at zouk

Anyone who's been to zouk during halloween knows just how crazy the queue is. If you want to escape the ghastly fate (pun unintended) of standing for hours outside till you shed real tears of blood, follow this tried-and-tested fail-proof guide by me and the bf:

Male Cut-Queue Stunt
1. If you are a guy, go in an outrageous costume. The club will costume-spot you and get you in sans queue and entry fee. Be creative- a stained pad, a hamster in superman suit, or.. a headless horseman. My bf* actually made this headless horseman costume from scrap materials you would have at your own home.

Bloody Neck: Food container leftover from his dabao laksa (please wash before using- you don't want to smell like laksa the entire night- unless u are going as a bowl of it).

Armour: Thick cardboard, black and silver spray paint.

Black Mesh: To hide your face so you can still see- you don't want to keep bumping into the undead the entire night, considering how a 369 teen slasher might just be hiding in the midst. If he gets pissed off and slashes you, the crowd would clap on and think it to be a club gimmick. "Wow, the gush of blood looks real! Amazing!" The commotion might win you Best Costume, but you won't get to enjoy the prize.

Medieval-looking belt: Left behind from his ah-beng days.

The costume worked pretty well- too well, in fact. The happy man confessed delightfully that women in the club were literally shoving their assets into his headless face in a bid to get that Perfect Shot for Facebook Exhibitionism.

Considering his usual height and looks, this was probably the most boobs he was coming in such close contact with for his entire life, so I grit my teeth and calmly played the role of PR manager.

"Oh my god! A headless horseman!"
"I gotta get this one..."
"How does he see?"

Me: He has a mesh over here *gestures* and his head is actually here.

"That's so cool!!"

Me: Yea, he made it himself.

"Gosh.. how long did it take him? This is amazing!"

Me: 6 nights after work.

"Could you help us take a pic? Thanks!"

We forgot our own camera, so what we did the entire night was taking pictures for others' cameras- him being the taken and me being their stand-in taker.

NOTE: Men, if you never were popular with the ladies but want to be, hide your face in some costume. My bf was never such hot property until he covered himself entirely. Off my mind I can think of another costume idea that fits the bill- ostrich with head in sand.

Female Cut-Queue Stunt
2. If you are a girl, go in your lingerie!
That's what I did, and not only did I get in for free, I even got approached for Zouk membership! The most coveted club membership that money-cannot-buy (you want to make anything priceless, just don't give it a price la.)

NOTE: this may not go down as well if you happen to weigh over 99kg. Also, I must say that I was shivering like mad when the club started blasting that cold mist thingy from time to time. I felt like a naked bunny in a nitrogen freezing experiment. If you are prone to catching colds, i recommend you stick to queuing outside.

That's it for now folks. Try my advice during Halloween 2011, and let me know how it goes.

* Tidbit of the day: the bf featured in this post is not the same one featured in previous posts, for you curious cats out there.


Bao said...

i loov it! you look awesome hah

Joie said...

y, thanks!