Monday, August 6, 2012

two hours in beijing

with a couple hours left to spare before heading for the airport, i went to the olympic park in beijing.

upon reaching the entrance, i was greeted by this signboard, which i later realised was pasted liberally everywhere.

i very quickly realised why there was this need for the signboard.


the entire field of what i supposed should be lovely sunflowers were striped bare.

there, families were happily harvesting sunflower seeds from freshly plucked sunflowers.

such a strange feeling- that something so wrong should feel so right. 

something so irritating and inconsiderate, should fill any onlooker's heart with warmth.  =)
such is life. i could have gotten lovely sunflower pic shots, but instead what i got were blissful family portraits.

unexpected feelings from unexpected moments. unexpected results, when your mind stays open

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The courage to be nothing at all

Ever gotten so bored of your own cowardice that you can't get to sleep?

Well, here I am. Wide awake at 2am on a weeknight, feeling lousy about my sore lack of guts to just do something I've always wanted to do with my life.

Which is to be a poor, happy, good-for-nothing bum.

Just imagine!

None of that self-actualization crap that the capitalist society so conveniently crams into our subconscious. If an ant can feel contented just following the ass of his fellowant, I don't see why i need a performance appraisal to prove myself as a society-worthy human.

No waking up at 7 (ok fine, I admit to waking at only 9 when that's the time I should be in office) 5 out of 7 days of my life, which is like X percentage of my entire life, which I'm too lazy to whip out a calculator to count, but which i'm goddamn sure is a depressingly high one.

Drinking teh halia downstairs at the Indian stall at 11am, surfing cute puppies while all other mortals slog away. Hell, I'm pretty darn sure even Bill Gates is working at that time (and Steve Jobs too, I'm sure, high up as he is now, is probably reselecting a better font for the signboards that say '5 clouds away from Heaven's door' and perfecting the angel halo symbol.

Back to my perfect lil life. And then I'll be trudging back up, playing with my three adorable ratties and letting them run wild in the bf's place and making this our little secret (don't worry he doesn't read my blog cause he's a hardcore cubicle rat). Strange how I'm always attracted to rodents.

And then I'll regress (or should I say progress) to being a professional housewife. I shall be diligent in supervising the maid to complete all household chores. I will contribute to increased jobs for everyone by conscientiously buying things on a whim. I think this is where my true talent lies.

There's only one lil problem. And that's the dreary sound of the alarm clock blaring me into the harsh reality of bad office vicinity food, a dusty messy workstation of- oh this is amazing I'm sleepy already.

I'm such a wimp! And even wimps gotta sleep, so good night, folks.

See ya in your cubicle.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Saturday, February 19, 2011

happy birthday dad!

Thursday, February 17, 2011


i lost my cherry earring in the club
so the sweet bf took it upon himself to make me one

kitty kitty

kitty on the volcanic tops of Japan

kitty basking in park

artsy kitty at Haji Lane

kitty under my block

why so extreme?
i would much prefer doing up posters of cats anytime.

some doodling for the day

Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday, January 7, 2011

how can the toilets at my office be SO cobwebby?

don't people need to pee here?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


art nowadays is so overrated. this piece looks like the result of leaving a black marker and correction fluid with a five year old with a fetish for squares.

inspired, i set out to create my own wall murals.

my version of a crocky high on pot:

his favourite stoned buddy:

and this is what happens when they get together:

a colourful meal never hurt anyone

the girl who stares at goats

i felt like the Girl Who Stares at Goats when taking this pic

pray tell me, how is a tin bird representative of Singapore?
i would've thought a madame tussauds figure of Phua Chu Kang might have been better. Or maybe one of Jack Neo soliciting another of his young girls.

the legendary Darkie toothpaste!

Darlie in its early racist years. what a rare find!

hardcore gamer

the chap was using his chair side as a mousepad

China, you are not alone

i wonder who would win in the battle to the funniest english bloopers, china or vietnam?

Other than seeing a restaurant sign saying No Pay, No Delicious, a Legion DVD i bought (did i just post proof of my own crime?) has this most amusing review at the back, likely ripped off the net by some unsuspecting dude who (very unfortunately) picked of all internet reviews, the lousiest one possible.

for the curious, i didn't watch this movie after reading the review.

the review did serve its purpose after all, saving me from a bad show and saving 2 hours of my life.

wearit nüe

QUESTION: what does a bo-liao girl do with free time on her hands?

ANSWER: she takes quirky pictures and starts another blog!

in my wearit nüe (a designerish, act-all-cool version of wear it new) pet project, i wear my (and anyone else's, if they'll let me) clothes and stuff in a new way. in short, breathe life into pieces that you might have otherwise chucked away, all forgotten and yellowed in a cracked old corner.

and one day, when i am famous, i shall start another spinoff blog brand. here, i will sell new self-designed clothes at exorbitant designerish prices and use the $ to buy other people's designerish shit.

and this, my friends, is my grand masterplan to retire before the age of 40.

Remember, you read it here first.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I don't understand why Boon Keng always seems to have this problem with water. Last year it was a bout of uncontrolled rain in front of the fruit stall. And now, a burst water pipe, ironically next to the fire hose reel.
Apparently the ghost craze extends past Halloween. Just check out this shop somewhere near Teo Heng KTV. I think the ghastly screamings of out-of-tune KTV goers prompted some guy to start a Ghostbuster shop.

And it was open at 2a.m. Not surprising, since his customers probably need his services at unearthly times.

Check out his comprehensive marketing in-store. Complete with LCD screen and article reports on his one-of-a-kind service (probably all from LianHeWanBao).

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

guide to cutting queue during halloween at zouk

Anyone who's been to zouk during halloween knows just how crazy the queue is. If you want to escape the ghastly fate (pun unintended) of standing for hours outside till you shed real tears of blood, follow this tried-and-tested fail-proof guide by me and the bf:

Male Cut-Queue Stunt
1. If you are a guy, go in an outrageous costume. The club will costume-spot you and get you in sans queue and entry fee. Be creative- a stained pad, a hamster in superman suit, or.. a headless horseman. My bf* actually made this headless horseman costume from scrap materials you would have at your own home.

Bloody Neck: Food container leftover from his dabao laksa (please wash before using- you don't want to smell like laksa the entire night- unless u are going as a bowl of it).

Armour: Thick cardboard, black and silver spray paint.

Black Mesh: To hide your face so you can still see- you don't want to keep bumping into the undead the entire night, considering how a 369 teen slasher might just be hiding in the midst. If he gets pissed off and slashes you, the crowd would clap on and think it to be a club gimmick. "Wow, the gush of blood looks real! Amazing!" The commotion might win you Best Costume, but you won't get to enjoy the prize.

Medieval-looking belt: Left behind from his ah-beng days.

The costume worked pretty well- too well, in fact. The happy man confessed delightfully that women in the club were literally shoving their assets into his headless face in a bid to get that Perfect Shot for Facebook Exhibitionism.

Considering his usual height and looks, this was probably the most boobs he was coming in such close contact with for his entire life, so I grit my teeth and calmly played the role of PR manager.

"Oh my god! A headless horseman!"
"I gotta get this one..."
"How does he see?"

Me: He has a mesh over here *gestures* and his head is actually here.

"That's so cool!!"

Me: Yea, he made it himself.

"Gosh.. how long did it take him? This is amazing!"

Me: 6 nights after work.

"Could you help us take a pic? Thanks!"

We forgot our own camera, so what we did the entire night was taking pictures for others' cameras- him being the taken and me being their stand-in taker.

NOTE: Men, if you never were popular with the ladies but want to be, hide your face in some costume. My bf was never such hot property until he covered himself entirely. Off my mind I can think of another costume idea that fits the bill- ostrich with head in sand.

Female Cut-Queue Stunt
2. If you are a girl, go in your lingerie!
That's what I did, and not only did I get in for free, I even got approached for Zouk membership! The most coveted club membership that money-cannot-buy (you want to make anything priceless, just don't give it a price la.)

NOTE: this may not go down as well if you happen to weigh over 99kg. Also, I must say that I was shivering like mad when the club started blasting that cold mist thingy from time to time. I felt like a naked bunny in a nitrogen freezing experiment. If you are prone to catching colds, i recommend you stick to queuing outside.

That's it for now folks. Try my advice during Halloween 2011, and let me know how it goes.

* Tidbit of the day: the bf featured in this post is not the same one featured in previous posts, for you curious cats out there.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

well, i made it! Universal Studios hasn't killed anyone... yet.

Random Thought of the Day:
Sitting on the fence never hurt anyone except your own ass.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Am going to Universal Studios tmr morning, as one of those guinea pigs to test for faulty rides i presume.

If i don't update this blog soon after, you can assume that the rides WERE indeed faulty.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Life is unfair!

Why is it that bunnies can look so cute, even when they are cleaning their ears..

but us humans look like crap!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I just changed my tongue stud to welcome the new year.

As they say, A New Stud for a New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone.

Monday, November 23, 2009

a day in the life of how english suffered

excuse me for taking a zillion years to blog about my guangzhou company trip..
i went there for 2 months.. and i felt my english deproving by the minute.

not hard to see why...

On a typical sunny morning in guangzhou, I took the train. & saw this poster.

1. 'no hullabaloo allowed'.
ok, i checked this word out- it does exist: noun that means 'fuss' or 'uproar'. fine i'll let this one pass- there are loads more anyway.

2. yo yo, check tis out. 'no graffiti or scratchitti allowed', hear me?

3. 'when the door opens or closes, please take your time'.
ahh, does that explain why i keep getting 'kiap' by the closing door?

after getting off the train, i went to eat.

never mind that the entire menu translation was all wrong, but i think 'cruelclearwate' crossed the line for me. I mean, the water's innocent man- the whole of Singapore is trying to save it.

i needed some amusement outside of translation jokes, so i went to the amusement park.
rapidest fly? what the hell is that? i don't know but i sure was amused. no wonder it's called an amusement park.

with play comes thirst, so i hopped over to the nearest supermarket for some drinks.
i am seriously impressed man. the chinese can really invent stuff.

最大的荣幸 = greatful

how cool is that?
<最大> great + <荣幸> grateful = 〈最大的荣幸〉greatful (2 functions in 1 word!)

thanks guys, for revisiting my blog again, i'm truly greatful.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

10 years? 20 years?

It's been too long since I blogged...

I think I should start again! Shall post up the cute panda pics, or what's remaining (boyfriend lost my camera hp on the last night zzz) of what I took in GuangZhou..

Anyway I am very proud of myself cause I thought of a little quotable quote of my very own...

"Friendships and relationships are the buoys that keep you afloat in life. -Gu, 2009"

Ta-dah! Playing on the SHIP behind friendship and relationship..get it??

I shall not google for it lest I find out that others have been already using it for 10 years. I shall live in my happy oblivion for now.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I just had the most disturbing dream, ever.

I was attending a school concert (considering that I hate concerts generally, this in itself is already a nightmare).

I overheard a woman behind me saying that her tummy really hurt, to her friend.

Being the kind soul I was (in dreams only), I dug my bag for my Axe oil (which I don't own in real life) to pass it to her.

I turned and asked the friend of Miss Painful Tummy, "Is your friend's tummy hurting?" before extending my Axe oil to her.

She (friend of Miss Painful Tummy) took it and dropped it into her bag before my very eyes. "I have been looking for this! Just what I need.."

Shocked, I tried to explain to her that the oil was for her friend, not her, but to no avail. She was simply shamelessly 'kop'ing the oil for her own usage, when her friend was doubling over in pain!

I was so pissed, I argued with her for the longest time and even shouted at her loudly while the concert was still going on. As in dreams, no one came to stop me, which I was wondering why then (not realising it was a dream).

I even threatened to call the police and was so furious I stormed out to complain to somebody.

At the corridor, I found a student council member whom I related the incident to, She went back with me to the concert hall, and horror of horrors, her seat was vacant. The shameless woman had absconded, Axe oil and all.

The kind student council led me to the only route she knew to leave the hall, and indeed, at the staircase landing, we found Mrs. Shameless (too old to be called a Miss).

I grabbed her by her arms and asked an Ah Beng (who was loitering around staircase landings- where they're usually found anyway) to search her bag.

He used a razor and slit her bag open, Ah Beng-style (couldn't he tell that using the clutch was easier?!)

The Axe Oil was nowhere to be found.

The audacity of it all! I was hopping mad by now.

The student council informed me that she had already called for the police.

All this while, I was holding both the hands of Mrs. Shameless, but somehow I kept feeling someone touching my waist from her position. Being too engrossed and angry at the mystery of Missing Axe Oil, I did not take much notice then.

Until it suddenly hit me that humans should only have 2 arms.

Something was clearly amiss. I let go of my grip on Mrs. Shameless, and shouted to the rest that she had 3 arms.

No one seemed to care. Both the Ah Beng and Nice Student Councilor were lifelessly limp, as though Mrs Shameless was a demon who had sucked the life out of them.

I panicked and ran out, where I saw 2 tall, well-built black policemen (as in Hollywood movies police) coming towards me. I ran towards them and led them to the scene.

Until I realised that Shameless Demon was at a phone booth nearby, dialling away while Ah Beng and Nice-now-lifeless Student Councilor was queuing in a line behind her. She had hynotised them! (In dreams, you Just Know. Stop asking me how I knew!)

I warned the police that she had probably hynotised the rest, and ran off. It was just not worth it for a $1.70 Axe Oil.

And you know why I had this terrifying and absolutely ridiculous dream?! It's all because yesterday at the foodcourt, this evil woman snatched the seat I had been waiting for for the longest time!

There was this Filipino couple who had finished their food and was flirting happily with each other. I felt kinda bad waiting for their seat but they were the only ones who had finished and were still hogging the scarce seats.

When they noticed me, they kindly offered their seats to me and even smiled at me.

As they were smiling, this woman came up and plonked her bag onto the seat, even before they had stood up!

I was fuming mad. I had made this happy in-the-mood-for-flirting duo cut short their flirting time, and this other woman just comes and snatches away my seat right before their very flirting?!

Just as I was going to give her a piece of my mind, her young child and husband came over. Damn it!! I couldn't even scold her without feeling bad cause she had a family! (which means it's harder for her to find an empty table, while I could simply share one with others, since there were only two of us).

I stood there (45 centimetres from her) fuming mad for minutes but was unable to release my anger, while she acted like nothing happened.

I figured that all this anger wasn't good for me and walked away to share seats with others.

Apparently, the unreleased anger inside me manifested itself into an absolute nightmare (literally)- that woke me up from my sleep feeling terrified.

In case you were wondering, no, Shameless Demon did not look like 'kop'-seat Woman, but you see the similarities, don't you? One 'kop'ed my seat, another 'kop'ed my Axe Oil.

The moral of the story is this: Never get mad at seat-'kop'ers, and never buy Axe Oil.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Long Live Loverpool!!

this is the crazy crowd you get when Daniel Wu and Jackie Chan comes to town

the rain was right in front of the fruit stall. it was hilarious

Saturday, March 14, 2009

snowflake in a cheery getup

her holding up a calci-bone for easy chewing. almost looks like she's praying with joss sticks

so cute!!
ever seen a mushroom bigger than a banana?