how to grow marigold and feel good about yourself

i usually kill every die-able thing i rear or keep (yes. you guessed right. the real reason behind my vegetarian diet is the need to atone for my numerous sins). hence, it came as a surprise to me that not only did my marigold not die on me, it grew to:


anyone who know my dark, murderous past would know this is one miracle. i call them my Merrygold because they make me merry whenever i see them, and i hope they bring me gold. let me share with you some tips on Growing Marigold and Feeling Good About Yourself:

1. firstly, before you do anything at all, get your mom's full approval and support. financially speaking, this makes sense. you don't want to have to pay for chicken shit, do you? the seeds may cost you $1.60, but pots and soil can cost you a fortune. haven't you heard of that saying? THEY reap (from) what you sow.
not to mention that if you do get her emotional support, she ends up tending for them. mothers and plants just go well together- they can understand each other; both keep contributing silently but never get acknowledged for their efforts.

2. get these Jiffy plant starters. they really live up to their name. these get your plants growing in a jiffy; the marigold grown directly into soil as compared to those grown using these look really different.


3. you know how they always say like dog, like owner? apprently this doesn't apply to plants. marigolds love sun. see, the only issue i have with them is their love of sunlight. if they weren't so insistent on having to have sunlight all the time, i could have them in the house. we would be inseparable.

4. lastly, snip off all dying flowers or the marigold will not last more than a year. marigolds are very dedicated and self-aware of their one true goal in life (shame on humans)- to propagate and then die off to make way for the future generation. if we all thought like marigolds, the government wouldn't have a headache over our rapidly aging population. i foresee a campaign to promote Merrygoldism soon- old is no longer gold. instead, drink, be merry, live fast and die young.

hmm..i'm good. i think i'll try for a government job after i graduate, to help in policy making.

told you growing marigold makes you feel good about yourself.